Depression is the Serpent that Binds

Depression is the Serpent that Binds – Audio Version

You sit in the corner of a small room with the door closed. You are chained to the corner, both wrists and ankles bound, holding you to the ground in that corner. There is no light, you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face if you could move it, there are no windows, just blackness that surrounds you. The only way you realize you are in a corner of a room is because of the two cold cement walls converging behind you. There, chained in the blackness, you hear scales grind on cement, something is slithering out there and you don’t know what. The sound of scraping grows closer…closer, until it is nearly on top of you. You, of course, are terrified but have nowhere to go, no way to run, chained in the blackness you struggle, but nothing gives. That is when you hear it, inches from your face, “Shhhh sweet thing, it will be over soon,” it says in a serpentine voice. Then you feel it start to wrap around your legs, your torso, your arms, finally your neck. You can feel the snake’s tongue shooting out next to your ear as it begins to whisper. It whispers all the things you are not, that you are worse than a bad person, you are a terrible and worthless human being. In the blackness it whispers all of this as you sit powerless in its coil.

Then something strange starts to happen, you don’t resist anymore, you don’t fight it, your mind doesn’t scream for escape, instead you start to think, this is who I am, you believe the serpent’s lies so much that they become core beliefs, shaping the very fabric of how you see the world. Your world with no lights and no windows. The chains are still there, but they might as well not be, as you have stopped struggling against them. The serpent’s coil is tight, yet strangely comforting. You have no idea how long you have been in this room, there is no way to tell. How many days? Weeks? Years? Have you been in the serpent’s grasp? No way of knowing in the black, windowless room.

Though your true self might have been quashed, silenced, or forgotten it remained there fighting what battles it could. Urging you to get help, to see the light again, to possibly live again. Whether by pure determination, a mood swing, little blue pills, or finding God, you suddenly have no chains, yet you are still in the room with the snake coiled around you, whispering its lies. You struggle free of the serpent’s grasp and blindly fumble on the wall for the door, all the while you hear what you think to be a snake laughing, because the serpent knows you will be back…there it is, the door knob, you turn it and find yourself in a desolate, bleach white hallway, no people, but there are fluorescent lights flickering above you. At the end of the hall is a double door, you run to it, push it open and there you are, however long later, light from the sun making you wince and close your eyes til they adjust. The whole world is there, bustling about doing its daily tasks, and you are expected to do the same, to conform, to build a life worth living, but you still have some of the serpent’s whispers in your mind and your body aches from the coils. Life is there for you to take, yet you look back down the hallway to the door that has that black, lightless room, and the serpent that bound you there…

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