You sit in the room, it is comprised of basic necessities and memorabilia, yet you feel trapped, eager to get away, to run and keep running. However, that room is merely four walls, it can be a sanctuary as well as a prison, depending on what you choose to perceive. The trap is not the walls, nor the state, country, or continent you are in or on, it is your mind. That is the trap, that is what is holding you down, your perception is a powerful and dreadful thing that your mind can use to elevate or decimate you. No amount of running will save you… not from yourself.

The four walls that occupy the majority of my life are the ones that comprise my bedroom/computer/office. Given what time of day it is the space transforms, yet stays the same, but it changes in your perception, often times I find myself feeling trapped in what should be a sanctuary that has everything I could ever need, but yet I want to run. I want to run far away and never look back. However, that will not solve the problem, it is not the room, it is my perception. Perception can be easy or difficult to change, depending on the individual, for me it seems to be rather difficult. So when I find those four walls closing in on me, suffocating me, I go for a drive and that usually clears my mind.

A friend of mine told me there is a fine line between sanctuary and prison, how true his words were. I sit in that same room I have described to you now, typing this out, and it does not feel like a prison at the moment, but not a sanctuary either, more of a neutral space, one open to influence and imagination. I honestly don’t know how or why our perceptions of a given space change and affect our mood or our mood effects it. Yet it is part of a daily struggle for many, feeling trapped in a place where they should feel free or a home that feels like a prison.

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

― Albert Einstein
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4 Responses

  1. Well said, my man. I have rarely stayed put long enough for my home to feel like a trap, but lately I could feel that way if I let myself, so I see what you mean.

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