Within each person there is a tumultuous assault of thoughts that scream through our consciousness, silently, unbeknownst by the ones around us. “Did I leave the stove on?” and “Do I have my keys?” are of the tamer variety, everyday thoughts and worries that are forgotten almost as quickly as they are realized. The others though, the darker ones, the ones deeper that often appear out of nowhere, but we know have always been there, those are the “Am I good enough?” and “Do I deserve love?” that can come unannounced and are much harder to forget. These thoughts are like pebbles in a placid pond, causing ripples and effects just for being thought or contemplated. Ripples that can manifest in our daily lives and interactions, doubting that we deserve love perhaps we miss opportunities for it, or simply don’t notice them as they pass us by struggling with the idea of if we deserve it.
While these thoughts race through our unsuspecting mind there is something deeper, shifting in the void that is between thoughts, between experience, a dread that some feel on a deeper level. An unidentifiable feeling that rests in our chests between our organs that keep our body biologically humming, a pain that is both unknowable but very much existent within us. We feel it press into us on seemingly normal days as we partake in our activities causing us to wonder about past loves and unrealized dreams, or obstacles and failures that we harbor throughout our existence as we just try to make sense of life and what it means not as a whole, but for us. On a drive back from a particularly thought provoking movie, alone in the car, we might find our minds drift back to some unrequited love or loss that still haunts us in the present though we thought we were over it.
It is these quiet storms that rage endlessly within all of us in bitter silence that makes it possible for us to find compassion. For in each one of us, there is a struggle, a loss, a missed opportunity, a tragedy worthy of poetry that the world does not see and does not hear. How we handle our personal storms is different and as varied as the many storms we all have, the burdens and scars we bear from life lived or not lived. However I would make one suggestion, whether dealing with your own quiet storm or another’s, be kind. Though the storm within may seem never ending and at times all consuming, there is an eye to every storm, and to reach that eye we must weather the torrents of emotion and thought to finally find peace in simply being.