We all have one that plays for us, that we listen to out of habit or wanting. Often it is from a desperation to escape some mental or physical circumstances, or something to give us a temporary high or to clear our head. That is what the Siren’s Song of addiction is, it lures you in with a sweet melody and then once it has you it never lets you go. You may go a month, a year, 10 years, the song still plays and a part of you always wants to go towards the song, for relief from life or simply the burden of your abstinence.
My Siren’s Song is cigarettes, and after quitting them for over a year life became too much to bear and I fell back on the only coping mechanism I could think of, sitting in my car and chain smoking, trying to process whatever feeling or pain I was dealing with at the time. That of course opened Pandora’s box to old neural pathways in my mind, suddenly relief came from a burden I had forgotten I was carrying. I smoked next to a gas station dumpster just like I use to over a decade ago and the nostalgia was uncanny. It was like I was acting like my 18 year old self, except I am 30. Yet still the Siren’s Song fulfilled its promise it soothed my woes, if but for awhile, until I started hating it all over again, the smell, the mess, the cost, all of it. So once again I have to quit and try to avoid that enticing song that I have listened to for so many years.
There are far more dangerous addictions to have, at least that is what my mind tells me as it simultaneously whispers in my ear, light up. My brain is trying to justify itself with no logical reasoning, the song is playing to your emotions not your logical mind, it plays the song with the right chords so that it resonates, not with your mind, but with your soul and heart. Because over the years you have become emotionally attached to your given vice, to your own particular song. It was always there when no ones else was, it helped calm you down when you were anxious, it helped you celebrate when you achieved something, it was there when you were alone. It was always there and then you try to rip it out of your whole being. For health, for family, for society, there are numerous reasons why you should try to avoid the Siren’s Song, but the only thing I have found that works, is doing it for yourself, not others, not them, not society, or vague social constructs of what is “acceptable”.
Do it for you and hopefully the Siren’s Song will become background noise to you, unshackled and forging a path forward.
“I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.”
― Edgar Allan Poe