I sit in my car parked on a rather desolate beach, almost no other people are around. The waves are crashing in just a few dozen feet from my car and straight in front of me the sun is slowly going down. It is peeking through long strips of clouds as it drifts ever closer to darkness, orange and yellow rays piercing through, shining onto the ocean waves as they curl into themselves. I find myself looking at the beauty of the sunset in front of me, but I also sense within myself impatience, that the sun should move quicker because I want it to, which in and of itself is ridiculous. I am no Half God born of Zeus, I am a mere mortal and I am wishing the heavens would move to my preference.
This sense of impatience does not just manifest during a beautiful sunset on an empty beach, it permeates every facet of my life and thoughts. Patience, as many have said, is something my generation as a whole seems to lack. I find that true in much of my life, anything from Amazon Prime, to other monthly subscriptions to indulge my perpetual impatience. Because unfortunately for our wallets, companies know our habits of spending, debt, and impatience, so we gorge and dig a hole for ourselves while the corporations smile and take our money, then send us the statement with the interest all the way at the bottom in tiny letters.
The sun has just sunk down past a wall of clouds stretching across the horizon, leaving the ocean waves grey and lifeless as they churn endlessly onto the sand. Little bits of violet peek beneath the wall of clouds hovering over the ocean and the clouds above are illuminated with a bright orange hue, it is at this point my impatience got the best of me and I started up my car, turned around and started driving home, the sunset only about 3/4ths of the way done. As I drove, to the side of me I saw the last moments of the sunset that I had driven out there to see, the violet rays seeming to chase me as I barrelled home at 60mph. I have a minor regret that I didn’t stay for the entire sunset, because while each is similar, they are never quite the same. So that sunset, that specific one, I will never see again.
Either I have to be ok with that, or change.
“The wisest are the most annoyed at the loss of time.”
― Dante Alighieri